Goodbye Paci

A lot of people beat themselves up about the whole pacifier issue.  Should we give them one?  Will it affect their eating ability or desire?  Will it inhibit speech or cause future dental problems?  When is the best time to take it away?  

We decided pretty early on, I think, to not really take a stance.  If the kids wanted it, that was fine, if they didn't, that was fine too.  We bought the orthopedic ones for the sake of dental whatnot, and decided that we would take it away if there seemed to be a problem, but not necessarily at a specific age or anything like that.  This is just what we decided.

Now, living the life of public transportation, I have to say that the paci has very often been a lifesaver.  Bored, cranky, annoyed, tired Hannah on the bus/ tube/ train/ airplane promptly received her paci and was quickly pacified.  Naturally.  It definitely hasn't inhibited her speech, her teeth have been fine, etc.  But she was growing increasingly demanding for her paci at random times of the day, not just bed time like we tried to do.  Also, the germ factor is pretty high with something that we tote all around town and on the bus, and that goes directly into her mouth.  So we decided that it was time.

I didn't want to give it up until we were back from our trip to the states, since I knew we would need it to help soothe her to sleep in the various different places that we were staying, keep her calm on long car rides that she wasn't used to, assist her in getting over the jet lag, and assist me in keeping her quiet on those long plane rides.  Chris was away for a conference almost as soon as we were back in the UK, but once he was home I decided it was time.

We clipped it on a Sunday night.  We had to rock her a bit that night, but overall she was fine about it and would tell you quickly was broken and in the trash.  But in true "You've got to be kidding me about the timing of this thing" form, Tuesday night she cried all night long, by Wednesday had a very runny nose and temperature, and we discovered on Friday that she had an ear infection.  Also, 2 top molars that were just through the skin.  And 2 bottom molars that were just below. (You could see them and feel them, but they weren't out.  Yuck.)  

Anyway, we contemplated getting her a new paci, just for the week, and then taking it away once the teeth and infection were gone.  But then we decided that this is the new normal around here- now if she's having a rough time settling herself down to sleep because of an ear infection, or teeth, or any other reason, we have to be the ones to help her through it.  Chris and I (and the rocking chair) are the new pacifiers.

But now we're almost on the other side of it, and it wasn't so bad.  

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And Then There Was "Year One"

Today was Jayce's first day of school.  He's in Year One, in the Rabbit Class.  

This was the source of several confused conversations while we were visiting in Akron.  Chelsea had a graduation/going away party, and it seemed like everyone had this conversation with Jayce.

Person: So, what grade are you going to be in?  Are you going into Kindergarden or First Grade?

Jayce: Uhhh… (They don't use either of those names for the grade here, so he kind of had no idea what they were talking about.)  Then he'd finish with, "I'm going to be a rabbit." and run off.

But the truth is, even though I don't really want to admit it, it's more like he's going into First Grade than Kindergarden.

Last year he went to school all day long for 5 days a week.  And it wasn't like a preschool kind of set up.  They played a lot, of course, but there was a lot of time for learning.  He already knew his letters, but every day they did some phonics and he learned to read.  He learned lots of other things too, measurable and immeasurable, but this one is the big one in my book.

(One day this summer, Jayce pointed to the word "whatever" and said, "Mom, what's this digraph?"  I told him and then asked him what a digraph was.  He said, "It's when there's two letters that make different sounds, but when you put them together they make a new sound."  Honestly, I was a little surprised by this, because, though he's pointed out different digraphs before, he's never explained to me exactly what it was.  I was just a  little surprised by the fact that he does seem to actually get it.  I wanted to go hug his old teacher.) 

Regardless of what it's called, it's the next year of school for him and he loves it.  Honestly it's just me that has the problem.  I'm still a little disappointed that I missed out on my last year with him at least partially home with me.  (Last year I thought his school was only half days and was a little surprised/freaked when I discovered it was full days, but I got on board.)  And though we had a rough patch in the beginning, things ended up working out great.  

So, yes.  He needs to go to school, school is good for him, in no way can I replicate at home what he is getting there, not even by a fraction, so to school he goes.  I just miss my little buddy while he's away, but luckily I get him back every afternoon. :)  End of random processing mom-rant.

Jayce was a great sport this morning, jumping out of bed right away, got dressed quickly, and even happily ushered Hannah around to the yard to get some before school pictures.

 He was much more agreeable during picture time than last year.

Much happier than Chris and definitely more so than Hannah.

He even wanted to take a few pictures himself.  That's my boy.

Then we grabbed the scooter, sunglasses, and were off.

And as far as I can tell it was a great first day.

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On Non-Milk and Hannah's Bubble Shorts

When Hannah was a baby, between 6 and 12 months, we discovered that she wouldn't take a bottle, wouldn't have anything to do with formula in any form, and wouldn't drink any version of cow's milk, goat milk, soy milk, etc, just mom's milk.  No pressure.  Also, she was always tiny, which paired with the above information about her eating preferences, caused me lots of anxiety, tears, and panicked conversations with Chris, her doctor, my friends, my mom, etc.  Over a year later, we are still in that same boat.  Though we make sure she gets calcium and healthy fats through various other sources, occasionally a trip to the store causes me to fall into a state of anxiety/despair with all sorts of thoughts of how terrible of a mom I am and how my child hasn't grown, etc.  

A few weeks ago I had one of these mornings out of nowhere when I was trying to find some shorts to fit Miss Hannah.  I tried on and put back the 2T, the 18-24 months, the 12-18 months, and when I was rifling through the pile for 6-12 months I started to cry, and then I just left.  I remembered this pattern for bubble pockets shorts that I'd seen on various different blogs and I came home and bought it.  And then I used some leftover fabric and made the most amazing and adorable shorts ever.
For the record, Hannah doesn't typically wear a size 6-12 months.  She is in that 18-24 month range, and is healthy, happy, and we have no reason to be concerned.  But sometimes that horrible "mom guilt" charges in and takes over.  

I had a funny sense of empowerment as I sewed up these beauties while she napped that day.  That my girl is fine and I'm doing just fine as her mom and meeting her needs.  And if we can't find some shorts to fit her, then I'm going to MAKE her some shorts that fit her, and that will be the end of it.And so I did.  And we had yogurt to celebrate my success.

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Friends

When Hannah was born we decided that we wouldn't try to force her on Jayce.  Like, make him talk to her all the time, make him give her kisses, make him hold her if he didn't ask to, etc.  There was a lot of change in his life, going from an only child to a big brother, and we wanted to ease him into it a little bit.  So they were often alongside of one another, but not really "together."

Also, it kind of worked for our family dynamic and schedule to do things with them separately.  

Hannah never took a bottle or formula so only I could feed her.  I would feed her before dinner and she would have a little nap or swing while the rest of us ate.  Then I would give her a bath while Chris played with Jayce.  Then Chris would give Jayce a bath while I fed Hannah and put her to bed.  Then we would take turns doing Jayce's bedtime routine with him or spend some time just the 3 of us.  

As time went on, even though the kids were bigger and could do things like bathe at the same time, we still did them separately.  I think it was mostly just out of habit and it gave us each some one on one time with them.

Once Chelsea's move to London went from a possibility to an it's happening, we knew we had a decision to make regarding our living arrangements.  We live in a 3 bedroom flat.  Should we move to a bigger place with more bedrooms, move Hannah into our room, or Hannah into Jayce's room?  We decided on the latter.

We were a little unsure about how this would all go down, because though Jayce is good with Hannah, I wouldn't go so far as to say that he likes her.  There is no sort of protectiveness or paternal instinct for her.  It would be most accurate to say that Hannah loves Jayce, and Jayce tolerates Hannah well.

So we put them in the same room.  

We ordered a new bed for him.  He had previously had a double in his room that was perfect when it was just him, but a bit of a tight squeeze once we added her (US sized) crib.  (The baby cots here are all significantly smaller I think to accommodate smaller bedrooms.) 

A bit of a squeeze, but just temporary.

Now that they would be sleeping in the same room we needed to align their bedtimes and routines.  For the most part we've been giving them their baths at the same time, but then putting Hannah straight to bed while Jayce had a bit more time for quiet play and stories.  But now we've pushed Hannah's bedtime back a bit and put them to bed together.

The first night, we didn't do anything too crazy as far as trying to set up a new bedtime routine or whatever.  We just put her crib in his room, read his story to him while she was in her crib, and then turned out the light and left.  

It worked.

Our friends had warned us that it would take forever for them to fall asleep that night.   That they would be up giggling and playing and too excited to sleep.  But that wasn't the case.

Actually, Jayce's irritation of Hannah worked in our favor that night.  I could hear her saying, "Jayce! Jayce!  Jayce?  Where is Jayce?  Where you gone?"  And then silence.  

Sleep.

It turns out that Jayce's unwillingness to chat with Hannah and his irritation at her being in his room worked magic on getting him to sleep.  He pulled his covers over his head so that she would stop talking to him, and was so focused on that that he fell asleep.  He didn't get out of bed a million times to ask for a million things, flop around in his bed, get up for water and bathroom trips and extra kisses goodnight.  He just fell asleep.  And when he was quiet, she fell asleep too.  

Awesome.

The strangest thing has happened since we've had them in the same room.  They have kind of become little buddies.

Not in a "Jayce rushes out of school to greet Hannah" sort of way.  More subtle than that.

More like, he doesn't get annoyed when she climbs up on the couch to sit with him.  He will even share sandwiches with her.

He even lets her sit with him to watch a little tv and doesn't get annoyed if she's touching him.  Sometimes he'll hold her hand while she walks down the steps or after school when we're going  back inside.  She has started randomly giving him hugs and snuggles throughout the day, and sometimes he gives them back.  We have praised him for being so kind or sharing so well with her, so sometimes he'll do something nice and then immediately tell us about it for some positive re-enforcement.  This doesn't bother me a bit.  Now that Jayce has his new bed, she climbs in to read one of her books while he reads us stories before bed.  When stories are over she goes into her crib without a peep.

Actually, they usually wait until we're downstairs before there is a peep.

It turns out that we've had belated combined room "post-bed time giggling and chatting and playing together and not going to sleep."  Sometimes we go up and tell them to keep it down, but sometimes I just let them wear themselves out.

It's like they're friends. :)

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Hannah

Hannah, you little peanut, you are the light of our life.

I've come to realize over the past 5 years of being a parent, that your children bring different things to the family dynamic at different ages and seasons of their life. 

Right now, you are our own personal clown. We are always genuinely laughing at and with you.  You are imitating us, imitating your brother, imitating what you see on tv and around you.

You talk like a little adult, using little sentences, adult expressions, and facial expressions.  You will furrow your brows at your dad and tell him that he's crazy if he's dancing silly or being loud.  Or you join right in, dancing, shaking, and spinning until you're dizzy, and we're laughing right with you until we can't resist for another second and need to scoop you up for a kiss.You are so cuddly, often demanding to be "nuggled," as you'll say, or most recently saying "Mommy, I hold you!" when you want to be held.  I know that I used to say this when I was little so I get a kick out of hearing it.
However, you are still a bossy, sassy little thing.  Last night you laid in your bed yelling,

Mom!  I hold you!  Mo-om!  You hear me Mom?  I hold you!  Mo-om, you hear me?

I mean, seriously Hannah.  You were just making sure that I heard that you bossing me around.  From your crib.

But you are still just the sweetest.  

We can't resist your chubby cheeks.  The way you hug your bears and babies and pat them lovingly on the back.  The way you run on your tippy toes and pump your arms.  We can't resist your little curls and flips.  Or the way you pronounce hands "hay-yonds" or pants "pay-yonts."

We love how we are always in the middle of a tea party.  How you pretend to be asleep if you are caught doing something that you shouldn't.  How you are always singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,' except you say, "twinkle twinkle ra-di-o…"We love the way you ask your dad for chocolate the minute he walks in the door and then do a little happy dance.    The way you randomly cover your eyes, count to three, and then yell, "I coming!  Ready or not!"  How you have joined right in with the "Dad and Jayce Wrestle Time" at the end of the day and claimed it as your own.
Most of all, we just love you little one.  You are a beautiful and wonderful little handful, and we're so glad you are ours.  Happy 2nd Birthday.

XOXO 

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